Emotional Intelligence and Difficult Conversations

Emotional Intelligence or EI is an ability to recognise the feelings or emotions of self and others in the ecosystem and to manage those emotions in order to continuously motivate self and the others in the ecosystem . Ability to listen & communicate, emphathise, exercise self –control, recognise bias, and even ability to influence in an environment of trust are some of the attributes of EI.

The following grid may be helpful to understand it better.

Social competence refers to the social, emotional, and cognitive skills and behaviours that we need for successful social adaptation. It starts at an early age when we are children and changes as we grow up with the guidance that we receive from the social partners we interact with. Personal competence develops, independent of social interactions with his or her own learnings. While self-awareness and self-management are the building blocks of an individual, social competence is essential to build and manage relations. The importance of building and managing relationships cannot be undermined and in that context, having difficult conversations without burning bridges, become more relevant.

Difficult conversations test out one’s EI. Discussions on bad appraisals, layoffs, paycuts, peer evaluation on an opportunity, avoiding or managing specific conflicts, making someone aware of unconscious bias, harassment are typical examples which are difficult. The importance of these discussions are many a times ignored and we don’t prepare our minds prior to those discussions. Let’s pick a bad appraisal to dwell upon it further. Click here to watch a bad appraisal discussion, unprepared and frequently interrupted, leaving a lot many questions and concerns of the appraise unaddressed.

Theatre based behavioural learning brings about strong and deep awareness of different attributes of Emotional Intelligence and attempts to integrate them to drive outcomes in the behavioural journey of an individual or an organisation. In this process it enables a person’s ability to have meaningful and constructive conversations, continuing to build and manage relationships. As participants are exposed to real life situations in a non-threatening environment through simulated theatrical techniques creating content set in different contexts, they understand the attributes and learn to drive outcomes in a well facilitated process that is supported by interactive sessions exploring the nuances. Theatre based learning is fun, immersive and experiential which helps a person to rewire and retain.